*WAPOOSH* Top of the morning to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and have you ever been scared of a video game? And I don't mean scared in the sense of like "I'm playing Amnesia or I'm playing some other horror game", I mean scared in the fact that you don't know what's gonna happen when you start this thing. I don't know what will happen, I might have to murder a child after I've played this.
We never ever know if it's ever gonna resort to that. So I got up to fight a train... And then right after that is uhmm Uhhhhh - Mr. King Dice! Mr. King Dick, ha!
Got 'em! Erhhm, right, I don't know - I've seen the train before but I don't know the phases. I don't know what actually do.
(?) Oh shit, what shots did I equip?! Aah, hi!
He's cuuute! Uhm apparently I have no shots equipped. ah fuck I AAAAAH, FUCK! I forgot I'm recording on my new PC, so all the buttons are ruff-reset...
I was shootin' and nothing was happening. *chuckles* ALRIGHT, round two, fucko! Oh god, I have that equipped. I can shoot your eyeballs! Eh that's- that's not that bad!
OOOOOOOOOHHHH Oh, the train moves! I get it! Nice, okay, so I can stop those from coming out, okay! I've got your number, Mr. Ghosty Goo! Okay, don't fuck it up.
Don't- FUCK! I fucked it up! Okay, okay. What is the bad of you?
Ooooh god! *shrieks* Don't kill me! Is that gonna kill me?! Ooooh, I just survived! Nooo-ooo-ooo I don't know what happening!
D: AAAAHH, FUCK! Damnit! Okay, this is gonna- I almost got halfway by being a sucko. I wanna have to change my shots. 'Cause this might not go that well. MHHHMM THE WORLD OR MY OYSTER CAKE!
(what in the...?) Fucking eyeballs! Get an' outta here with my eyeballs! Don't you dare move my train!
This is my train, and we're staying in it! So can I actually attack this fucking pumpkin? Haha, I can! Okay, not so bad.
I don't know where to be for this. Definitely not there! Okay, fuck you! Aaaah, this is scary, I don't like this!
D: FUCK YOU! CHRIII-IIII-IIST! Okay, this is gonna take some getting used to. Fuck you!
At least that's building "le super" and that is super! Okay, don't fucking move me. Don't- don't you- But it's hard to do this because he constantly wants to hit me as well! Where are we going? Where are we going?
That's- that's bad, okay. I'm safe here. I'm safe here!
*triumphant laughter* *Jack's Cuphead war cry while the conductor peeks behind him* Okay, I'm safe here! This is good. This is good for me. This is good for me! I'm still safe here. YEAH!
Take that and rewind it back! Okay, what's up next? What's up next? What are you doing? What- what is this?
Oh Christ. Oh god. What are you? What are you things? OH GOD, OH GOD!
MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE! Okay, fuck OFF Mr. Ghost! Who's doing it next? Okay, okay, I can't get away!
I can- I just- I can't do it! Did I kill him? I fucking killed him! Nice!
That means I have only this side to worry about! This- this is- this is good, right? I have a feeling that this is good. I'm not even hitting him! That's not hitting him!